Many novices who approach others tend to fall into a misconception, thinking that they must be witty and humorous, and able to respond to jokes, in order to generate goodwill. In order to avoid awkward silences, they forcefully tell jokes and deliberately try to be funny, but in the end, this not only feels awkward and stiff, but also appears deliberately greasy, which instead creates a sense of distance and reduces the level of goodwill.
In daily interactions, comfort is far more important than being interesting. When interacting with most strangers, the biggest fear is being deliberate and following a set pattern. Overly trying to be humorous can easily reveal nervousness and unnaturalness, making others immediately perceive your deliberate attempts to please them. This instinctively triggers their defensive mentality, making them unwilling to continue the conversation.
Actually, not being humorous doesn’t affect the effectiveness of making small talk at all. Ordinary people just need to speak in a calm tone, maintain a polite attitude, and express themselves clearly. Simple situational introductions, sincere and casual chats, and natural polite interactions are more reassuring and easier to let down one’s guard than forced humor.
The core of social interaction is to get along sincerely, not to put on a talent show. There’s no need to force yourself to cater to others or deliberately create jokes. Accept your own lack of comedic talent and communicate in a natural and relaxed state. A down-to-earth, sincere, and stable demeanor is far more attractive than deliberate humor.