Many girls fall into the same dilemma after falling in love with a boy: they want to initiate a conversation with him, but don’t know what to say; After finally starting the topic, the conversation quickly faded into obscurity; Afraid of being too proactive and appearing undervalued, and afraid of being too cold and ignoring oneself. In fact, chatting with a boy is never a “aimless chat” or a “deliberately pleasing awkward chat”. The so-called “tricks” are essentially understanding his psychology, finding the right chat rhythm, and using a relaxed and natural way to bring him closer to you, gradually making him feel good about you, rather than rigidly deceiving him with “tricks”. Today, combined with daily interaction scenarios, I will share a few practical chat routines. There is no need to deliberately disguise, and even beginners can easily get started, without losing their sense of propriety and touching their hearts.
The first trick to chatting with a boy is to “initiate the topic, but not entangle and leave enough room”. Many girls either dare not take the initiative and wait for boys to find them, eventually missing the opportunity; Either being too proactive, constantly sending messages and asking questions every day, from chatting “good morning” in the morning to “good night” in the evening, regardless of whether the boy is free or interested, they keep outputting, gradually making the boy feel tired and oppressed. The truly clever way of chatting is to be proactive but not humble. After starting a topic, observe the boy’s response attitude and then decide whether to continue. For example, there is no need to ask perfunctory and easily perfunctory topics like “are you there” or “what are you doing?” Instead, based on his preferences and daily life, find a specific starting point, such as asking “Did you go play ball today? Did you win; He likes playing games and says, ‘I tried the game you mentioned before today, it’s too difficult, aren’t you really good?’. This kind of topic not only reflects your attention to him, but also allows him to have something to say. After chatting, there is no need to keep asking, leaving him time to reply. If he does not actively seek you out, he will not repeatedly disturb and maintain his sense of propriety.
The second trick is to learn to show weakness and seek help, satisfy his protective desires, and bring him closer. Most boys have a strong desire for protection. Compared to girls who are always strong and can handle everything on their own, girls who occasionally show weakness and seek help appropriately are more likely to make them feel good and initiate in-depth conversations. But the weakness here is not pretending to be weak and unreasonable, but seeking help appropriately, combining his strengths to make him feel his own value, and also to make your conversation have continuity. For example, if your computer breaks down and he happens to understand computers, he would say, “My computer suddenly froze and restarting it didn’t work. Do you understand this? Can you help me come up with an idea; You don’t know where to eat delicious food, but he happens to be familiar with local cuisine. He asked, “I want to go out and eat delicious food this weekend. Do you recommend it? I’m not very familiar with this place, it’s all up to you. After seeking help, be sure to give affirmation and gratitude in a timely manner, such as “Thank you so much, follow your instructions, the computer is really good” or “The restaurant you recommended is also delicious, I will listen to you next time”. Such feedback will give him a sense of achievement and make him more willing to actively chat with you, gradually developing a different feeling towards you.
The third trick is to “chat back and forth, not output unilaterally, learn empathy and listening”. When chasing boys, many girls always want to tell their own things to each other, roast about their troubles and share their daily life, but ignore to listen to the boys’ ideas, whether they are interested or not, and finally become unilateral “talking to themselves”, which makes boys lose interest in chatting. Chatting is a two-way journey, not a one-sided performance. The true way of chatting is to learn to share, listen, and empathize. For example, when a boy talks to you about his work or troubles, don’t interrupt or respond perfunctorily. Instead, listen carefully and empathize with his emotions. For example, if he says, “I’m so tired from work today and I have to work overtime,” don’t say, “If you’re tired, don’t add more.” Instead, say, “I understand this feeling. Being busy every day and working late is really too hard, you must pay attention to rest. At the same time, when sharing your daily life, don’t go into long winded conversations. Instead, stop by and ask the boy a question to encourage him to participate, such as “I had a delicious cup of milk tea today, what flavor do you like to drink in your daily life?” This way, we can have a back and forth conversation, so that the boy can feel your sincerity and slowly bring you closer together.
Finally, I would like to remind everyone that the core of the chat routine for chasing boys is “sincerity”. All the routines are designed to help you better express your feelings and understand him, rather than deceiving and manipulating him. Don’t deliberately disguise your personality and preferences in order to please him, and don’t repeatedly pester or humbly try to please him in order to make him respond to you. Such conversations not only won’t make him feel good, but will also keep him away from you. In addition, one should also learn to observe a boy’s attitude. If he keeps being perfunctory and doesn’t respond to you proactively, no matter how you find topics, he only says “um”, “oh”, or “okay”, which means he doesn’t have a good impression of you. At this point, don’t waste time and energy, stop damaging yourself in a timely manner, and maintain your dignity. A truly good conversation is when two people have a relaxed and comfortable conversation. You are willing to take the initiative to find him, and he is also willing to respond to you. In the conversation, you gradually get to know each other and attract each other. This is the true meaning of chasing a boy and chatting, and it is also the most touching way to his heart.