Many couples’ conflicts erupt repeatedly, mostly due to the love to reconcile old accounts. Every time we argue, it doesn’t solve the current problem, but instead brings up old things from several years ago and the mistakes that have already been reconciled. New and old grudges overlap, and small conflicts instantly escalate into big arguments.
Overturning old debts is the biggest invisible killer of marriage. The past mistakes have been reconciled and repeatedly mentioned, only revealing each other’s scars and magnifying past grievances. Seemingly torn between right and wrong, it is actually constantly consuming the remaining warmth and tolerance.
People who like to dig up old accounts are mostly those who have never truly let go of their grievances and can only vent them repeatedly through arguments. But this approach will only result in mutual harm, without any positive significance, and will only lead the marriage into endless internal friction and pulling.
Managing a marriage requires learning to promptly resolve conflicts. When arguing, only talk about current issues, and when reconciling, completely turn the page without dwelling on the past or pursuing old matters. Knowing how to forgive and learn to let go, having less resentment and more tolerance between husband and wife, is the key to a smoother marriage.