Many people have a question, why do they still frequently have conflicts with their partners despite trying their best to manage their marriage. Psychological research shows that adults’ views on marriage and love, ways of dealing with things, and emotional processing abilities are mostly influenced by their family background.
The influence of the family of origin on marriage is reflected in various aspects. People who grew up in families with arguments tend to become emotional when they encounter conflicts after marriage, and are accustomed to using arguments and cold wars to solve problems; People who grew up in a doting environment, become selfish and willful after marriage, lack tolerance and sense of responsibility, and find it difficult to fulfill family obligations; People with a harmonious family atmosphere often have a stable mentality, are good at communication and tolerance, and are more likely to manage happy marriages.
It should be clarified that the family of origin can only affect marriage and cannot determine it. No one needs to be bound by the shortcomings of their original family, nor should they attribute all marital failures to past upbringing experiences. The greatest ability of adults after marriage is to have the right to reshape themselves, break free from the negative constraints of their upbringing, learn to face their own personality flaws, and actively avoid negative habits brought by their upbringing.
Both husband and wife can be honest with each other about the shortcomings of their original family and tolerate each other’s personality weaknesses; Establish rules for getting along with small families and distinguish the boundary between the original family and the new family; Take its essence and discard its dross, absorb the positive coexistence mode, and abandon negative habits. Breaking free from the negative cycle of the original family, couples should strive towards each other in order to create a happy marriage that is exclusive to both of them.