Many people have heard the saying ‘domestic violence only occurs zero times and countless times’, but they do not understand the underlying reasons behind it. They even believe that the perpetrator can be changed through tolerance and communication, and ultimately suffer repeated harm.
After the first occurrence of domestic violence, most perpetrators will sincerely apologize, cry and repent, promise to make corrections, and use a gentle attitude to win forgiveness from the victims. Many victims compromise and choose to be tolerant, without holding them accountable or setting a bottom line, which makes the perpetrator assume that the cost of domestic violence is extremely low and that there is no need to pay a price for making mistakes.
As the frequency of tolerance increases, the bottom line of the perpetrator will continue to decrease, and violent behavior will gradually escalate, evolving from occasional impulsiveness to habitual violence. Every bottomless forgiveness is a disguised indulgence, turning domestic violence from accidental to normal, forming a vicious cycle of “violence apology forgiveness re violence”.
Of course, this does not mean that domestic violence cannot be completely changed. For first-time domestic violence, accountability must be taken seriously, the bottom line must be clarified, and the other party must bear the corresponding consequences. Resolutely eliminating bottomless compromise, timely cutting losses, and adhering to principles are the key to breaking the vicious cycle, avoiding the risk of domestic violence recurrence from the root, and safeguarding one’s own safety.