I have already posted more than ten times, but it doesn’t work every time. Is there something wrong with me? “If you think the same way, don’t rush to deny yourself for now. Having failed many times, it’s often not because you’re not good enough, but because the following three reasons are holding you back.
Reason 1: You have a “perfect list” in your mind, including height, income, appearance, education, personality… each of which is stuck to death. But in reality, there is no one who perfectly fits the list. Try to cut down the list into three items: the most uncompromising and core conditions. For example, “good character”, “good conversation”, “stable job”. Others can be relaxed.
Reason 2: You are “sentenced to death” once you meet. Many people are judged as “inappropriate” once they meet because the other person is nervous, says the wrong thing, wears unattractive clothes, or orders too slowly. But just think about it, you would also feel nervous and behave poorly when you meet for the first time. Give each other at least two opportunities to meet. The first time may just be due to not performing well, but the second time will reveal the true face.
Reason three: You come to meet with the pressure of “must succeed”. Every blind date is like an exam: you must make the other person like me, you must go to WeChat, and you must have a good result. Under too much pressure, you tend to behave unnaturally – speaking more, smiling stiffly, and easily becoming nervous. Try to change your mindset: ‘I’m just going to meet a new friend. If we can chat, we’ll continue. If we can’t chat, we won’t lose anything.’ When you relax, you actually become more charming.
The last sentence: blind date is a probability game. Not every meeting will have a result, but every meeting helps you clarify ‘what kind of person do I really want’. After ten unsuccessful attempts, it’s not a failure, it’s you trying to rule out incorrect answers.