Many couples’ relationship breakdowns start with perfunctory responses. In daily life, many people encounter this situation: when actively sharing their daily life, pouring out their troubles, and making demands, their partners always respond with “whatever”, “it’s okay”, “you see what to do”, and their replies are simple and sloppy, with a negative and indifferent attitude. Most people only feel that the other person has a cold personality, but they do not know that long-term perfunctory behavior is the most hidden way of emotional consumption in marriage.
Emotional perfunctoriness can be divided into two different types, each with its own causes. The first type is passive perfunctory, which refers to the group of people who suffer from the dual pressure of work and economy for a long time, are physically and mentally exhausted, have no extra energy to maintain relationships, can only compress communication time, and use simple language to deal with their partners; The second type is subjective perfunctory, where the desire to share has long been lost, and there is a deliberate lack of communication and empathy, ignoring the emotional needs of one’s partner from the bottom of their heart.
Short term perfunctory behavior is a normal phenomenon in marriage, but long-term indulgence can lead to serious consequences. Being perfunctory will gradually erode the desire for two-way sharing, the frequency of communication between couples continues to decrease, and emotional barriers continue to deepen; The party who is being perfunctory will develop feelings of loss and inferiority, and will no longer actively express their ideas; Both parties gradually formed a closed-loop solitary mode, eventually becoming strangers living under the same roof.
To break the perfunctory attitude of your partner, don’t just blame and argue. Accurately distinguish perfunctory types and communicate targeted demands; Abandon the lengthy heart to heart talk mode, make simple and specific small requests, and lower the threshold for the other party to respond; Simultaneously reducing the burden in both directions and understanding each other’s difficulties. The key to marriage management lies in a two-way response. Only by treating each other sincerely and refusing to be passive and perfunctory can we maintain a warm and intimate relationship.