There are many boys around me, and once they fall in love with a girl, it’s easy to become ‘self-centered’. In order to cater to the preferences of girls, deliberately changing one’s personality, giving up one’s hobbies, and losing one’s pride; In order to spend time with girls, I pushed away all my friends’ gatherings, gave up my work and studies, and devoted all my time and energy to girls; In order to gain the recognition of girls, one is cautious, worried about gains and losses, and even becomes humble and sensitive.
They thought that as long as they worked hard enough and were willing to give everything for her, they could touch her heart. But in the end, I found myself becoming increasingly unfamiliar and unhappy, and that girl didn’t fall in love with them just because of their efforts. On the contrary, those boys who blindly give and lose themselves are often more easily overlooked and hurt by girls.
In fact, the most taboo thing when chasing girls is to lose oneself. A good relationship is never a one-sided compromise and sacrifice, but two independent souls that attract and achieve each other. You can like her, pursue her actively, and give for her, but you cannot lose your bottom line, your hobbies, or your life just because you like her.
What truly moves a girl is never how humble or obedient you are, but your own personality, pursuit, and bottom line. Even if you like her, you can still be your most authentic self. You can make her better, but you can’t make her unrecognizable; You can accompany her to grow, but you cannot give up your own growth for her; You can care for her and take care of her, but you cannot lose your life because of her.
The best state of pursuing a girl is’ I like you, but I am still myself ‘. You have your own work and study, your own friends and hobbies, and your own life plan. You won’t disrupt your rhythm just because you like her; You will take the initiative to care for and accompany her, but you will also reserve your own space and bottom line, and will not blindly accommodate and please her; You will become gentler and better for her, but you will also stick to your principles, neither humble nor arrogant.
Please remember, chasing girls is never about abandoning oneself to cater to others, but about sincerely pursuing them while maintaining oneself. Only by loving yourself first can you have the confidence to be loved; Only by staying true to yourself can you attract people who truly appreciate you. May every boy who pursues love remain clear headed, neither humble nor arrogant, and not lose himself. On the path of pursuing love, he can treat each other sincerely and keep his true feelings, and meet the girl who understands how to appreciate and cherish you.